Forgiveness is the deliberate decision to free your mind of resentment and vengeance towards someone who offended you, whether he or she deserves it or not. Forgiveness doesn’t diminish the wrong that has been done neither does it remove the consequences of the wrong that was done. Instead, it doesn’t wait for the offender to ask for it first or do something to earn it.
Helen and Frank have been married for 7 years. Every time they have a dispute, Helen reminds him of every offence he has committed against her since their first dispute as a couple. This doesn’t make her feel any better or resolve the issue very quickly.
For 7 years of marriage, she has been carrying about hurt and pains which is stifling joy and happiness in her relationship. Her attempt at wanting to get back at her husband only keeps robbing her of her well-being and self-esteem.
Do you find yourself often saying “but he did this to me”, “she must pay…”. I want to encourage you today to JUST LET IT GO! Unlike Helen, you might not be offended by someone else, but yourself. It should be noted that self-forgiveness is also quite important, especially for building healthy self-esteem, for enhanced mental and emotional wellbeing.
James Faust says “if we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being”
Here are five reasons you should forgive and let go.
- Gives you peace of mind and sanity
- Makes you cheerful and happy
- Enhance your sense of self-value and self-worth
- Boosts your immunity and physical health
- Improves your overall mental health
Forgiveness is an act of being kind and compassionate; I know it hurts badly, especially from that person you trusted and counted on. However, forgiveness is essential for your health and well-being. It is a choice and it can be learned, taught and practised
Are you ready to make that move of forgiveness? Here are 5 step
- Acknowledge the hurt. Don’t minimize or deny it.
- Identify how the offence made you feel.
- Decide what you need to do to protect yourself from being hurt a second time.
- Make a commitment to forgive and do not use their offence as a weapon against them. Forgiveness is a process; it usually takes time to truly forgive and let go, so making the commitment ahead of time will help you through the process.
- Get help. Talk mental Health offers one-on-one consultations and therapy sessions that can help you work through the process of forgiveness.
I hope you found this helpful. Please, subscribe to our newsletter and follow us on all our social media platforms.
Dr Adeola Adeyemi
Your mental fitness coach